For the love of your job

Does what a man do for a living really a deal breaker? Yes and No. First off, let me just start off by saying.... it is not what a man makes for a living that this blog is about.... it is what he does for a living and whether or not a woman can handle it. Careers define men. Men that do not feel they have direction and a career they like in their life, are usually the ones that cannot commit to a relationship. All has to be in order before they want to be in a relationship.... #1 being they love their career and see it going places.

Strangest Jobs of men had I've met:

1. Snake Breeder. Yes folks, I said someone that breeds snakes for a living and owns over 500 of them

2. Sailboat Maintenance Manager: I could of sworn most sailboats don't have motors, but whatever. I am just not sure what this job really is.

3. Dog Walker/ Dog Sitter: sounds fun, but for a man and as a career? And he's straight!?! Not so sure that career is going anywhere.

4. Starving Actor and Model: at 36? really? don't you think you after 15 years of trying, that maybe you would pick up a real job and make this your side gig. Oh and bartending does not count as your "main job".

5. The best is "in between" work. Otherwise known as "reinventing myself", "taking some time off from the workplace". Hey, we all know this is a bad economy and most have been out of work at one time or another, so just tell me that.

Honesty is the best policy... if you can't handle their career path (or anything else about them), just tell them. The snake breeder could not figure out why I did not want to go on a date with him after our lovely phone conversation. I had to tell him that the whole snake breeding/ owning 500+ snakes is just not for me. I find snakes disgusting and therefore, we obviously have quite different interests!

Qualifications

I believe everyone should have "qualifications" and things they are looking for in a mate. And I am not referring to "dark hair, blue eyes, tan skin" kind of qualifications. I am talking about core values, morals, similarities..... what are these qualifications you are looking for. At this point, this is not just a dating spree for FUN... this is a process of elimination to decide who will be a good husband, partner, lover, and possibly father to your children. What characteristics do you want out of this partner. I think before people begin on a dating frenzy, they really need to do an inventory on what it is they want in a man. Some of mine are religious beliefs, political views, whether or not he is ambitious and goal oriented, whether or not he is affectionate and does he have similar goals/dreams as mine for his life.

Take some time, write down what you are looking for and when you go on these first dates... find out AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. Find out if he falls in line with your goals at the start. It is better to find out on the first date or two, then 3 months into it. It may seem unconventional.... but ask those hard questions..... what do you have to lose? If you are on different wavelengths, then fine.. NEXT!

Break Time

When do you look at your dating life and begin to say... I think I need a break from all this??? I think it comes we you really do not care anymore. I had several dates one week... all first dates, and I have been getting so burned out! I am wasting time on facebook, seeing what all "my friends" are doing instead of getting ready for the date. I look at my clock and it is 7:30. Wait?!? I am suppose to be there at the restaurant at 7:30. I text him to tell him I will be late and his response is "No Problem!". Is it no problem??? I began to realize it IS a problem! Why is it that I do not care one bit about meeting this guy and going on another blind date. Am I burned out on this dating life? I think so! Its a problem when I am not even excited to get ready and meet someone. After you meet about 60 different strangers on dates over the last 6 months, and NONE are worth dating... you begin to think HE is not out there!!!! Maybe it is the fact that I am putting myself out there and trying to meet people. I am making a strong effort to meet people and connect with others..... all in hopes of finding "Mr. Right". Maybe I just need to let things be for a while and take a step backwards. What if I take a break from dating all together???????

Intimidation?

What makes a man intimidated to come up to a girl and talk to her? Are men really shy? I think there is a very small percentage that are shy... most are not. I used to believe men were intimidated.... or simply afraid of being rejected. Now, I have realized if the guy does not approach you, he is not interested. After all, I want to be with a man who pursues me, not one that is too "intimidated" to actually talk to me first. He should be the first to talk to me, ask me out, and call me. Not the other way around.... I think men like a challenge and want a challenge. So why not give it to them?!?

If this is not true, then why is it that the shy guy has such a hard time approaching a girl. I have had men who will ask someone else to go check and see if I am "available" first before coming to talk to me. I understand the feeling of rejection... but without the risk, there is no reward. I want to be the risk they are willing to take. If someone passes me by because they were too shy or nervous to ask me out, then it was not meant to be.... or perhaps "he's just not that into me" :p

Here's a funny story... I was on a blind date sitting at the bar while waiting on our table to eat. All the guy wanted to talk about was the final four basketball game that was on the bar TV. I love basketball and all.... but I do not even know this guy, so how about getting to know each other a little! We are on a date, not a sporting event. So, I am sitting there and I get a note passed down the bar to me. Almost had deja vu as if I was in middle school again and the boy passed a note to my desk. EXCEPT I was at a restaurant, the man was in his 40ies and he sent a note down the bar. Here's what it said:

Can't blame him for trying!!!! hahaha!