I have come to find out that when dating men with no children, they are most likely willing to have kids. Men with children have more of a “take it or leave it” mentality. Where they could do without more kids, or with….. and most use the line “whatever my future wife wants”. No sir, after I birth out a baby and tell you to change its diaper - I don’t want that line coming back to me “this is what YOU wanted. I already had my children”. This is an all or nothing gig. I want to hear, "YES, YES, I want more children… I love more kids." NOT the… "hmmm, not sure about it" answer. Seeing your date with his own children is a preview of how he will be with your children. Is he an active dad? Is he an absent dad? Is he strict? Or are there no rules when they are with dad? Pay Attention to this! As much as you "love" him, his kids will be with you FOREVER. Can you handle them? Can you handle how he is with them?
In my situation with Mr. Jones, it was even harder since his child was an infant when we met. One man + one infant=no maternal instincts. I took a lead role in that child's life. Feeding, bathing, putting to bed, taking care of illnesses, play dates, nanny…. I was the mother to a child that was not mine. It did take a lot for me to do this, but I was “in love”. Not only with Mr. Jones, but the innocent child that was in the mix of this. My biggest mistake was getting involved too soon… too quickly in the child's life. Mr. Jones became dependant on me when his child was in town. At the time, I thought this was great because it was almost like our own little family. Ladies, don’t play house… there will be plenty of years to do that. Mr. Jones was NEEDING me around during the times he had his child… but was he “needing” me the rest of the time??? Better yet, was he WANTING me? That is really what all women desire. A man that wants them around come hell or high water. Kiddos are wonderful... don't get me wrong, but ladies -just remember his kids are your kids.... forever.
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