Detox

Breakups SUCK and here's a few lessons I've learned along the way from a bad breakup. You must detox from this bad relationship. Detox from the negativity that has invaded your life and detox from the ex.

A great breakup book by Greg & Amiira Behrendt is "It's called a Breakup because its Broken". As the book states, "The person you loved took a long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, 'No thanks. I'll try my luck elsewhere.'" If he is willing to take the risk of letting you go, his love for you was never really there to begin with. If he wanted to be with you, he'd do whatever it takes to make it happen. Instead I always got the answers from my ex "I'm not ready", "I don't know". If it has been more than a year and he still "doesn't know"... then there is your answer. As painful as it may be, the answer is he does not want to be with you. Quitting him cold turkey and going through a 60-day "detox" is the fastest way to rid yourself of him and the heartache. No seeing, texting, emailing, or talking to this person for a minimum of 60 days. A great reminder from the book, "Why should you talk to the person who just broke your heart? You wouldn't go back to a job you'd just been fired from every day just to feel bad about yourself, would you?"

You have to get rid of the unhealthy people in your life in order to find the healthy. Quit hanging onto the dysfunctional men because it is "comfortable". I kept going back to my ex because it was comfortable. But did I really want comfort or passion? I wanted someone who would go to the ends of the earth to be with me. Not someone that was comfortable with me being around and never trying to "win" me over. When you are comfortable, growth can not happen. The relationship does not grow and it becomes stagnant. I finally asked myself, "Don't you want to be with a man that wants to be with you??"

Take care of yourself.... do not sink into this breakup pit! Workout, don't drink every night, don't hook up with random guys..... take care of yourself! Do not look for a quick fix to fill the void. It never works. Do not be self-destructive! Find a support system in your friends to lift you up and get you out of the house, off the couch, and out of the liquor cabinet.

The last thing you want to be is that crazy drunk girl who is sobbing at the bar telling the bartender what an ass your ex is and asking him why your ex didn't love you?!?! So put down the Jim Beam and Jack Daniels...... and give yourself a total detox.

Keep a gratitude journal... write down all the things you are thankful for and blessed with. This positive reinforcement will help prevent negative thoughts and help you when become down about your crazy ex.

Detox has to happen so you can move on to the bigger and better things God has planned for your life. Move out of the past and into the future.....