Categories

I have dated all sorts of men and have decided to compile a list of descriptions of the majority of guys I have dated. Now... there are a number of categories men fall into, it just so happens these were the top categories I keep coming across.

1. The Emotionally Unavailable: This is the man with a lot of baggage.... emotional baggage that is. He never has addressed issues from his past.... perhaps childhood even. He has a large wall built up... maybe for protecting himself at one point, but now does not know how to let that wall down. This man can be recently separated or divorced. The relationship starts off wonderful, he says all the right things and it is amazing... then it begins to look and feel more and more like a booty call than a relationship. He tells you that it is all about the "timing" and your timing with him just so happens to be "off".... or that he is not at the right place in his life! If he openly says he has a lot of past issues he has to deal with first, then he is not emotionally available. Quick to pursue you, then backs off once he feels he "has" you. Sends a ton of mixed signals. He is the type that will want to be "friends" with you and keep you at arms length even when you are not in a relationship together. He blames you for "pushing" the relationship. He wants you, then he doesn't. An ambivalent man.... Almost to the point of being bipolar. He dates multiple people simultaneously and historically did not have any long term girlfriends. Your love for him is not enough to change him, he needs consistent psychotherapy.......

2. The Playboy: This man is extremely cocky and thinks he could get every girl in the room. You should worry about him being so into himself. He probably has been with everyone in the room... literally. He will probably take you out, talk all about himself, wine and dine you, and of course, try and get laid. When he doesn't, he will be shocked and make you out to be the "crazy", "bad" person because he won't believe he didn't score with you! He is borderline narcissistic. Very vain, egotistical, conceited, and selfish..... He thinks he is above others and he mainly does things to look out for himself. He is a player and doesn't want a serious relationship. He is fun, attractive, built, affectionate, seductive and a great kisser. But do not let the lust fool you... he's into himself and just after a "good time"!

3. The Insecure Guy: This man is jealous of every guy that looks your way. Very controlling and can be even jealous of your own girlfriends. He ultimately has zero self esteem and at times feels he is not good enough for you. He also is someone that seems to build you up then put you down. He talks as if you are "too good" for him and then switches to say you will never find anyone as good as him. He is confused and causes confusion in your relationship. He wants you all to himself. He does not like to socialize much with your friends or other couples. He usually just wants to stay in and not do anything. His excuse will be that he wants to spend as much quality time with you as possible. The truth is, he can't stand the fact that some other guy might look your way if you are out on the town. This controlling behavior comes from his insecurity and that insecurity will not change overnight. He has to work on this on his own (without you) before you can have a healthy relationship.

4. The Non-Committal: These are the guys that are so afraid of commitment that they sabotage perfectly good relationships because after a while they feel it is headed to "marriage" and "marriage" = growing up and growing up = they have to actually be mature and responsible and this scares them shit-less. Non-Committal men are showing a sign of their immaturity. It is true. You might have a wonderful relationship, but if the man is non-committal and you do not sweep him off his feet enough to change his interests ... run! He is not going to change. You might continue to wait and wait and wait... putting everything on hold for that moment when you can finally be married to him. The reality is, he is incapable of this "committed" type relationship. So, if you want marriage in your future.... you need to look for it elsewhere.

5. The Nice Guy: Notice I put this last... yes, it really is true. The nice guys finish last. Unfortunately this is the guy that is so great on paper, there is just usually not a physical/ sexual chemistry between the two of you. He is so excited to "woo" you... take you on amazing dates and buy you things, but the entire time you are thinking you need a drink in order to continue through the date. Most of these guys put it all out there too soon... they need to slow it down and not suffocate the woman. Reason being.....he needs to make you fall in love with HIM, before the make out session begins. Most "nice guys" are so nice that they constantly put the you on a pedestal. While that is great, it needs to be gradual. When the compliments are so frequent and constant, you feel suffocated by his need to please and impress you. I still truly believe the nice guys will finish last, but will finish strong. They will be the ones celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. So for all the nice guys.... don't quit being "nice", just breathe and turn down the forwardness a notch.....

Maybe one day I might find that needle in a haystack and prove all these stereotypes wrong. And one day I might come back on here and create another category for "Prince Charming"......until then, these are the categories and stories that make up the wonderful dating life!