Hot and Cold

Hot and Cold..... Katie Perry described it best....

"You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up, then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up"

This describes a type of man.... the Ambivalent Man. Has anyone been in a relationship like this before? Or even dated a man who is confused, mixed up, unpredictable, unreliable, inconsistent. YET... he is so very easy to fall in love with. He is irresistible and possesses all the qualities you want in a man, yet he is incapable of committing? If you have seen sex in the city... then you know Mr. Big. Well, Mr. Big is the definition of an ambivalent man. Never sure what he wanted... he wanted Carrie, then he was over it. Back and forth and back and forth. It's no wonder I was so peeved when she ended up marrying him in the movie! UGH! NO!

My last serious relationship started out great.....everything falling into place. That was until his ambivalence came rearing its ugly head. Ambivalence is something a guy has embedded in him...... for a long time. For one reason or another, not dealing with his present issues and/or having past mother or father issues (perhaps). As much as we would like to "change" him... it might not happen. In my case, it DIDN'T HAPPEN.

I have realized it seems to be the guys that you fall for quickly. They have that charm about them that gets the girl, but then soon after become "wishy-washy". I have run into several guys like this and have realized that I should always give the 3 month or 3 time rule. One guy I went on a few dates with, didn't hear back from for several weeks, then heard from him and he wanted to go on more dates..... ok... but then the entire thing repeated. SO, obviously not again. 3x and I'm done. And if he is this unpredictable now....what in the world will he be like later. My 3 month rule goes for the infatuation period. It takes about 3 months for the "newness" and infatuation with one another to wear off. Therefore, do not get too emotionally involved with this man until you know that he is not an ambivalent man and that once the initial "newness" wears off, that he will still be around. It hurts a lot less when you give it 3 months and figure it out instead of 2 years................