When I get older, I will be stronger...

I sit here as a 30 year old single woman, wondering what happened in my life? How did I end up here? How come I am still single with no children? My life certainly did turn out the way I thought it was going to just 5 short years ago.

Married at 23 to the same guy I had dated since I was 19, had never left me much option to “date around”…. BUT, I did think he was the one and what should we do after dating for 4 years…. Well, obviously get married! Right!?!? Along came marriage, then came reality, then came distance, tension, financial problems, etc, etc, etc....and divorce.

So at 27, I found myself back in the dating world…. Starting all over. But wait, I had never really “started” it to begin with?!? I was with the same person for over 8 years. Where did my twenties go? How do I date? Where do I begin?

Everyone claims to have this desire to be married and have a family and this wonderful picture perfect life.... but what is it really? What are we all striving for? What does this picture perfect "life" look like? I sit here wondering what it is that we are desiring. I will tell you what the majority of women my age are desiring......a desire to love and to be loved back completely. The desire to find a true companion to share life with, have children with, grow old with.... To find a partner that pursues us, cherishes us, and adores us.

When I get older, I will be stronger....... this indeed has taken place. I have grown so much through my divorce and think I have finally figured out a few things about dating and marriage. I believe both parties need to find a strong connection with God before they can have a strong connection with anyone else. I sit here not looking for someone to "complete me" because God completes me and I do know He ultimately will bring me the desires of my heart. Of course, it is so much easier said than done..... the patiently waiting part! We are in a "now" world, with instant communication and a high-speed life. We want what we want NOW. Right?!?! And as much as I fall into that category, the "now" will definitely have to be HIS now. When I was married at such a young age, I assumed that this other person was suppose to fill the void and complete me as a person. That DOES NOT happen when you are married. If you are not complete on your own, you will never be complete as a couple. Both parties must be healthy and strong enough on their own before they can have the capacity to fulfill their partner's earthly desires.

When in a relationship... or when married.... people have to realize there are NO guarantees in life. At any given moment on of the two in the relationship can "check-out". Once you are committed and/or married, the work does not stop there. It is a continuation of pursuing the other, striving to be better, and learning to love deeper and deeper. Once one "checks-out" it is over. Two people have to go into the relationship, knowing they will give it all they got and if trust is broken and one person is not giving to the relationship, its going to be a constant uphill battle.

Now that I am older... and stronger...... I know that being alone is much better than being in a lonely relationship. So many women "settle" so they are not alone.... and ironically they end up alone anyways. Ladies, be strong, be wise, be who you want to be and God will provide that man that meets you where you are.